truth is, being alone isn’t all that bad. I almost...selfishly...don’t mind it. it’s become normal & allowed me to see all i’m truly capable of. yes, we’re all much stronger than we believe we are. there were many, many days last year and this year too, when I doubted my ability to live another day. I told a friend last week that it wasn’t during those times that I was holding onto Jesus, but that He was holding onto me. those days are reminders to me that it’s not in my own strength that I thrive through another day, or that I even desire Christ... it’s Him, carrying, holding, pursuing.
but anyways, we tell ourselves these lies that we cannot possibly survive being alone. I didn’t know how I’d live without my ex. I didn’t know how I could financially make it. I didn’t know if I could sleep alone again... or go grocery shopping for one... or go to family things alone. another person does not make us complete— and if we’re waiting till we’re with someone to be strong, independent, secure, at peace, content, etc... I believe we’ll be sorely disappointed when that person comes along and we find we’re incapable of being WITH someone because we never learned how to be alone & THRIVE. we’ve been fed lies that being with someone romantically means we’re better, happier, or of more value, and none of those things are true. putting so many expectations on another means we’ll be constantly disappointed. our everything must be found in Christ & we must be content in our aloneness... the person you are when you’re alone now is the person your someday-person will get in the future. is your alone-self content? diligent? disciplined? joyful?
these are things I am learning. the stripping away of someone I found a lot of identity in & now being long-distance from the man who is patiently pursing my heart has caused me to be content here... when it’s just me and Jesus. contentment begins now, not when I have all my heart longs for. 💛 #myhallelujahredemption