✨This is beautiful and heartbreaking. I wish I would have known my last time nursing was going to be my last time and also that I would’ve been able to document it. ・・・
✨For those of you who have nursed-did you know it was going to be your last time? If so, did you do anything to document it in any way? ・・・
Repost from @mayavorderstrasse ・・・
The first and last time my precious Hazel ever nursed.
I didn’t know that one person could feel so proud and so broken at the same time, right now I am a hormonal, emotional, and mental mess.
Raising my arm in this picture was very difficult for me as I had to fight through uncontrollable tears: this picture meant that I would never breastfeed my Hazel ever again. I have been nursing for so long, that I don’t know what it’s like to not nurse anymore. As I looked behind the camera, Tim is crying like I had never seen him cry before, like seriously, a deep gut cry. I was her comfort, her safe place, and I hope she still finds me that way. A month shy of 2 years old, she finally has a bed in a shared bedroom with her sister. We bought Hazel her first bed, used any distraction we could come up with, snacks and new toys to keep her mind off of it. Tim has taken over bedtime completely, including all nighttime wakings. We are on our third day, and every day gets a little bit easier. The guilt I feel for not putting her to bed is so intense and I can’t wait to go back to it once she doesn’t ask to nurse anymore. Closing a chapter is painful, but I am hopeful that this new season of our lives will also be special in its own way. Through this maturation step she will not only grow more independent, but I will get a much needed break. She unlatched for the last time and sobbingly I said to Tim: “I did my best”. He hugged me and responded with: “No. You did THE best, because you gave her your all”. I love my family and am so thankful for such special and unforgettable moments like these. 💛 *my lazy boob has no clue about what’s going on, but thoughts and prayers are accepted for my good one, I really think it might explode🤱🏻 **thank you Tim, for insisting on filming this, I will treasure this forever.🤳🏼👩👧 #purelove