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Top emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder Posts

Do you pay attention to what your body is telling you? Again today I’ve been caught out feeling all kinds of something until I checked in with my body and it turns out I’m feeling anxiety!
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(Note : this is actually how I sat in my psychology sessions, and I didn’t even realise until I checked in with my body)
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[visual description : drawing of Naomi sat on a chair. She is white with long orange hair and is wearing a purple T-shirt. Above it says ‘anxiety signs’ with labels around the edge. These say “too many thoughts that I can’t think. Clenched jaw, biting hands, ridged safe arm barrier lots of tight knees, holds legs close, curled up toes, jelly legs when walking, physically swallows emotions, unhappy bowel & feeling sick, forgets to breathe, forced BIG smile and laugh, tight neck and shoulders, sensitive to noise, can’t see properly, “my head is the size of a pea” feelings.” She is sat with her arms tangled up and knees close to her body.]
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#eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #mentalhealthart #dbt #dbtskills #dbtdrawings #borderlinerecovery #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthart #anxiety #selfcare #recovery

Do you pay attention to what your body is telling you? Again today I’ve been caught out feeling all kinds of something until I checked in with my body and it turns out I’m feeling anxiety! • (Note : this is actually how I sat in my psychology sessions, and I didn’t even realise until I checked in with my body) • [visual description : drawing of Naomi sat on a chair. She is white with long orange hair and is wearing a purple T-shirt. Above it says ‘anxiety signs’ with labels around the edge. These say “too many thoughts that I can’t think. Clenched jaw, biting hands, ridged safe arm barrier lots of tight knees, holds legs close, curled up toes, jelly legs when walking, physically swallows emotions, unhappy bowel & feeling sick, forgets to breathe, forced BIG smile and laugh, tight neck and shoulders, sensitive to noise, can’t see properly, “my head is the size of a pea” feelings.” She is sat with her arms tangled up and knees close to her body.] • #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #mentalhealthart #dbt #dbtskills #dbtdrawings #borderlinerecovery #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthart #anxiety #selfcare #recovery

Damn ain’t that the truth. No matter how much you explain your personality disorder & symptoms to people beforehand, and they’re like ‘yeah totally get it’, it’s not until they see you having an episode that they’re like OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING.
Repost from @bpd_splitposting
#borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorderawarenessmonth
#bpdawarenessmonth #bpd #eupd #bpdawareness #borderlinepersonalitydisorderawareness #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstable #borderlinepersonality #personalitydisorder #actuallybpd #bpdrecovery #bpdsupport #borderlinerecovery #borderlinestrong #iamborderline

Damn ain’t that the truth. No matter how much you explain your personality disorder & symptoms to people beforehand, and they’re like ‘yeah totally get it’, it’s not until they see you having an episode that they’re like OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING. Repost from @bpd_splitposting #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorderawarenessmonth #bpdawarenessmonth #bpd #eupd #bpdawareness #borderlinepersonalitydisorderawareness #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstable #borderlinepersonality #personalitydisorder #actuallybpd #bpdrecovery #bpdsupport #borderlinerecovery #borderlinestrong #iamborderline

One of my all time favorite memes and not my own creation, obviously. Boundaries is a word that I feel like people use in a bunch of different ways and for that reason -combined with my mental illnesses- it's been a really hard thing for me to get a handle on. As Borderlines, we are highly feeling. Which can mean that we want to be everything for everyone; saying 'no' feels akin to admitting we are failure garbage piles. But this morning I was doing a @curable meditation (highly recommend for BPD, though it's technically geared towards chronic pain and migraines, I find they are related for me), and the topic was boundaries. The woman talked about how starting to set boundaries is the hardest, so getting a small win under your belt is critical to showing you why this matters. That's why I want to share a small boundary that has changed my life: I've asked that my partner not engage with me first thing in the morning. He is usually awake many hours before me so he was in the habit of starting in on his morning and asking me things and I'd engage but ultimately end up feeling quickly overwhelmed and irritated (another thing from Curable, resentment is a red flag a boundary is being crossed). I also sometimes wake up feeling like screaming cause my dreams or I jsut wake up and have an intrusive thought. So I asked that he just say good morning and then give me 20 mins of uninterrupted time. During that time I usually meditate or journal or read or stretch. This has set me up for so much more calm in the day! Just knowing I'm allowed to ask for alone time and not only will he not be mad at me (I had to double check this 39 times of course), but he's happy to do it cause he sees how much more stable I am when I have my time. Good luck Borderline babes, try setting a baby boundary and see what happens!

One of my all time favorite memes and not my own creation, obviously. Boundaries is a word that I feel like people use in a bunch of different ways and for that reason -combined with my mental illnesses- it's been a really hard thing for me to get a handle on. As Borderlines, we are highly feeling. Which can mean that we want to be everything for everyone; saying 'no' feels akin to admitting we are failure garbage piles. But this morning I was doing a @curable meditation (highly recommend for BPD, though it's technically geared towards chronic pain and migraines, I find they are related for me), and the topic was boundaries. The woman talked about how starting to set boundaries is the hardest, so getting a small win under your belt is critical to showing you why this matters. That's why I want to share a small boundary that has changed my life: I've asked that my partner not engage with me first thing in the morning. He is usually awake many hours before me so he was in the habit of starting in on his morning and asking me things and I'd engage but ultimately end up feeling quickly overwhelmed and irritated (another thing from Curable, resentment is a red flag a boundary is being crossed). I also sometimes wake up feeling like screaming cause my dreams or I jsut wake up and have an intrusive thought. So I asked that he just say good morning and then give me 20 mins of uninterrupted time. During that time I usually meditate or journal or read or stretch. This has set me up for so much more calm in the day! Just knowing I'm allowed to ask for alone time and not only will he not be mad at me (I had to double check this 39 times of course), but he's happy to do it cause he sees how much more stable I am when I have my time. Good luck Borderline babes, try setting a baby boundary and see what happens!

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Latest emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder Posts

hey instagram : is this a BPD™ thing?
i tend to forget my own age like i’ll fill things out and i always accidentally age myself down by like 2 years? like i’ve done it since my trauma and i feel like it gets worse every year? i just had to think like 10 sec to figure out how old i was because i filled out a profile with the wrong age ?? idk if this makes sense but if anyone relates please let me know because i feel so dummy .
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#eupd #personalitydisorder #actuallybpd #health #bpd #mentalhealthmatters #selfcare #mentalillness #dbt #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #motivation #inspiration #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #actuallyborderline #love #selflove #mentalhealthawareness #borderlinepersonality #quotes #mental #letsendthestigma #mentalhealth #awareness #recovery #depression #anxiety #depressed #support #borderline

hey instagram : is this a BPD™ thing? i tend to forget my own age like i’ll fill things out and i always accidentally age myself down by like 2 years? like i’ve done it since my trauma and i feel like it gets worse every year? i just had to think like 10 sec to figure out how old i was because i filled out a profile with the wrong age ?? idk if this makes sense but if anyone relates please let me know because i feel so dummy . . . . . #eupd #personalitydisorder #actuallybpd #health #bpd #mentalhealthmatters #selfcare #mentalillness #dbt #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #motivation #inspiration #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #actuallyborderline #love #selflove #mentalhealthawareness #borderlinepersonality #quotes #mental #letsendthestigma #mentalhealth #awareness #recovery #depression #anxiety #depressed #support #borderline

I'm really curious to know what tablets everybody is taking, how they help and how they hinder?
I'm taking Venlafaxine & Quetiapine, they help with my depression, sleep and slow my mind down abit. The cons are that I've gained so much freaking weight and my body temperature is ridiculous I'm always so hot I get really bad night sweats and have very strange, warped & weird dreams!! 🤯🧠 Comment what tablets you are taking and if they have helped manage your BPD ⬇️⬇️⬇️ #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bpd #eupd #bpdrecovery #mentalhealthmedication
#antidepressant #moodstabilizer
#venlafaxine #quetiapine

I'm really curious to know what tablets everybody is taking, how they help and how they hinder? I'm taking Venlafaxine & Quetiapine, they help with my depression, sleep and slow my mind down abit. The cons are that I've gained so much freaking weight and my body temperature is ridiculous I'm always so hot I get really bad night sweats and have very strange, warped & weird dreams!! 🤯🧠 Comment what tablets you are taking and if they have helped manage your BPD ⬇️⬇️⬇️ #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bpd #eupd #bpdrecovery #mentalhealthmedication #antidepressant #moodstabilizer #venlafaxine #quetiapine

Throwing it back to when I was leaner, thinner, stronger and not always ill. I could lift heavy and run long distances, was always on the go, very active and walked everywhere.
I thought I had a lot to improve on that I was nowhere near my goals. I shrugged off compliments and pulled myself down. Oh how I wish I was back at this point.
I just need to get on top of this #chronicfatiguesyndrome and viruses I keep getting.
I have my motivation back, just not my health.
Slow steps and there is no rush, it's not a race, just my journey.
I'm doing it for me not for anyone else 👊🏻💪🏻
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#chronicfatiguesyndrome #runlife #mentalhealth #halfmararthontraining  #beattheblues #greatnorthrun #sunderlandhalfmarathon  #mentalhealthawareness
#thisgirlcanrun #run  #running #determination  #instarunner  #gymaddict  #fitnessmotivation #strava
#fitness #exercise #garmin  #anxiety #depression  #generalanxietydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder  #dependentpersonalitydisorder

Throwing it back to when I was leaner, thinner, stronger and not always ill. I could lift heavy and run long distances, was always on the go, very active and walked everywhere. I thought I had a lot to improve on that I was nowhere near my goals. I shrugged off compliments and pulled myself down. Oh how I wish I was back at this point. I just need to get on top of this #chronicfatiguesyndrome and viruses I keep getting. I have my motivation back, just not my health. Slow steps and there is no rush, it's not a race, just my journey. I'm doing it for me not for anyone else 👊🏻💪🏻 . . #chronicfatiguesyndrome #runlife #mentalhealth #halfmararthontraining  #beattheblues #greatnorthrun #sunderlandhalfmarathon  #mentalhealthawareness #thisgirlcanrun #run  #running #determination  #instarunner  #gymaddict  #fitnessmotivation #strava #fitness #exercise #garmin  #anxiety #depression  #generalanxietydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder  #dependentpersonalitydisorder

Throwing it back to when I was leaner, thinner, stronger and not always ill. I could lift heavy and run long distances, was always on the go, very active and walked everywhere.
I thought I had a lot to improve on that I was nowhere near my goals. I shrugged off compliments and pulled myself down. Oh how I wish I was back at this point.
I just need to get on top of this #chronicfatiguesyndrome and viruses I keep getting.
I have my motivation back, just not my health.
Slow steps and there is no rush, it's not a race, just my journey.
I'm doing it for me not for anyone else 👊🏻💪🏻
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#chronicfatiguesyndrome #runlife #mentalhealth #halfmararthontraining  #beattheblues #greatnorthrun #sunderlandhalfmarathon  #mentalhealthawareness
#thisgirlcanrun #run  #running #determination  #instarunner  #gymaddict  #fitnessmotivation #strava
#fitness #exercise #garmin  #anxiety #depression  #generalanxietydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder  #dependentpersonalitydisorder

Throwing it back to when I was leaner, thinner, stronger and not always ill. I could lift heavy and run long distances, was always on the go, very active and walked everywhere. I thought I had a lot to improve on that I was nowhere near my goals. I shrugged off compliments and pulled myself down. Oh how I wish I was back at this point. I just need to get on top of this #chronicfatiguesyndrome and viruses I keep getting. I have my motivation back, just not my health. Slow steps and there is no rush, it's not a race, just my journey. I'm doing it for me not for anyone else 👊🏻💪🏻 . . #chronicfatiguesyndrome #runlife #mentalhealth #halfmararthontraining  #beattheblues #greatnorthrun #sunderlandhalfmarathon  #mentalhealthawareness #thisgirlcanrun #run  #running #determination  #instarunner  #gymaddict  #fitnessmotivation #strava #fitness #exercise #garmin  #anxiety #depression  #generalanxietydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder  #dependentpersonalitydisorder

I have been blessed with a friend who shares my struggles, who guides me through the dark, who makes me smile through tears and makes me laugh despite my hurting heart, who came into my life at the darkest and most terrifying time of my existence. She doesn't just 'help' me navigate this world but CHANGED my world! I stole one of her coping strategies last night instead of relapsing, and as much as I hated sitting with the uncomfortable, painful feelings I DID IT, she sat talking to me through it all and I came out the other side! she is my saving grace, and I need her 'like air' @shea_berlin my rock, my constant, my friend, my 'satan slayer' 😂 I love you! #mentalhealth #mentalillness #recovery #bpd #eupd #ptsd #mooddisorder #anxiety #depression #boarderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #staystrong #nevergiveup #neverlosehope #youarenotalone #yougotthis #itsoknottobeok #edrecovery #edwarrior #eatingdisorderrecovery #did

I have been blessed with a friend who shares my struggles, who guides me through the dark, who makes me smile through tears and makes me laugh despite my hurting heart, who came into my life at the darkest and most terrifying time of my existence. She doesn't just 'help' me navigate this world but CHANGED my world! I stole one of her coping strategies last night instead of relapsing, and as much as I hated sitting with the uncomfortable, painful feelings I DID IT, she sat talking to me through it all and I came out the other side! she is my saving grace, and I need her 'like air' @shea_berlin my rock, my constant, my friend, my 'satan slayer' 😂 I love you! #mentalhealth #mentalillness #recovery #bpd #eupd #ptsd #mooddisorder #anxiety #depression #boarderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #staystrong #nevergiveup #neverlosehope #youarenotalone #yougotthis #itsoknottobeok #edrecovery #edwarrior #eatingdisorderrecovery #did

Truthfully it all comes down to us and our actions in recovery. We can be given the support and the tools but it’s a process of accepting them and being proactive.
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This is what I thrive for everyday. Ask for help when I need it, use the tools and build a beautiful garden!
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Happy recovery peeps.
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#borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderline #emotionalabuse #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionalabuseawareness #friendships #friendshipsinmentalhealth #support #supportsystems #mycrew #myg #besties #bloomingflower #safeplace #fp #depression #depressionrecovery #mygyal #bpdcrew #bpdrecovery #bpdfam

Truthfully it all comes down to us and our actions in recovery. We can be given the support and the tools but it’s a process of accepting them and being proactive. : : This is what I thrive for everyday. Ask for help when I need it, use the tools and build a beautiful garden! : : Happy recovery peeps. : : . . : . #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderline #emotionalabuse #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionalabuseawareness #friendships #friendshipsinmentalhealth #support #supportsystems #mycrew #myg #besties #bloomingflower #safeplace #fp #depression #depressionrecovery #mygyal #bpdcrew #bpdrecovery #bpdfam

Currently arranging additional support to help me through the third year of my degree. Credit to my uni for being so accommodating and wanting to help me.
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Never be afraid to speak out about mental health problems, and don’t let your illnesses hold you back from the things you want to do. With enough determination and the right attitude, you can achieve anything.👊🏻❤️
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#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthcare #mentalillness #mentalillnessawareness #mentalillnessrecovery #depression #clinicaldepression #majordepressivedisorder #anxiety #generalisedanxiety #ocd #ocdawareness #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #trauma #traumarecovery #antidepressants #antipsychotics #moodstabilizer #student #studentmentalhealth #mentalhealthatuniversity #endthestigmaofmentalhealth #smashthestigma #speakoutaboutmentalhealth #mentalillnessisnotacrime #neverlosehope

Currently arranging additional support to help me through the third year of my degree. Credit to my uni for being so accommodating and wanting to help me. ✩ Never be afraid to speak out about mental health problems, and don’t let your illnesses hold you back from the things you want to do. With enough determination and the right attitude, you can achieve anything.👊🏻❤️ ✩ #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthcare #mentalillness #mentalillnessawareness #mentalillnessrecovery #depression #clinicaldepression #majordepressivedisorder #anxiety #generalisedanxiety #ocd #ocdawareness #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #trauma #traumarecovery #antidepressants #antipsychotics #moodstabilizer #student #studentmentalhealth #mentalhealthatuniversity #endthestigmaofmentalhealth #smashthestigma #speakoutaboutmentalhealth #mentalillnessisnotacrime #neverlosehope

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Man I go through this ALL the time with relationships/friendships and modeling. This is so accurate wow.

Man I go through this ALL the time with relationships/friendships and modeling. This is so accurate wow.

I’ve been shortlisted for a Mind Media Award for my blog Talking About #BPD about my experiences of #borderlinepersonalitydisorder ! I am over the moon & really hope it helps others find my work who might find it helpful. #MindMediaAwards #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthcondition #personalitydisorders #personalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder

I’ve been shortlisted for a Mind Media Award for my blog Talking About #BPD about my experiences of #borderlinepersonalitydisorder ! I am over the moon & really hope it helps others find my work who might find it helpful. #MindMediaAwards #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthcondition #personalitydisorders #personalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder

This woman truly doesn’t even know how much she means to me. I could never say in words to her. Without her I would be a 1/4 of my being. Without her I would have lost my dog. Without her I would have not met a load of people I can truly keep in my heart as friends. She’s opened up a whole new world to me and inspires me every day.
@_princess_pebble you are my gyal!
Never stop being you!! For the love of god never change!
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#borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderline #emotionalabuse #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionalabuseawareness #friendships #friendshipsinmentalhealth #support #supportsystems #mycrew #myg #besties #bloomingflower #safeplace #fp #depression #depressionrecovery #mygyal #bpdcrew #bpdrecovery #bpdfam

This woman truly doesn’t even know how much she means to me. I could never say in words to her. Without her I would be a 1/4 of my being. Without her I would have lost my dog. Without her I would have not met a load of people I can truly keep in my heart as friends. She’s opened up a whole new world to me and inspires me every day. @_princess_pebble you are my gyal! Never stop being you!! For the love of god never change! : : : : #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderline #emotionalabuse #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionalabuseawareness #friendships #friendshipsinmentalhealth #support #supportsystems #mycrew #myg #besties #bloomingflower #safeplace #fp #depression #depressionrecovery #mygyal #bpdcrew #bpdrecovery #bpdfam

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This is my life now 🙃 I never would have thought that leaving uni could feel so good, could be so positive, so healthy. Sure, I'm still mentally ill, but the future is not as scary anymore. There's hope.
#depression #anxiety #socialanxiety #suicidal #misophonia #sensoryoverload #histrionicpersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #emotionalneglect #emotionalabusesurvivor #endthestigma #mentalillness #mentalhealthawareness #recovery #progress #newapprenticeship

This is my life now 🙃 I never would have thought that leaving uni could feel so good, could be so positive, so healthy. Sure, I'm still mentally ill, but the future is not as scary anymore. There's hope. #depression #anxiety #socialanxiety #suicidal #misophonia #sensoryoverload #histrionicpersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #emotionalneglect #emotionalabusesurvivor #endthestigma #mentalillness #mentalhealthawareness #recovery #progress #newapprenticeship

Between the drug tests, the HTT appointments and pure mania that my life seems to have become I was able to see my BEAUTIFUL POOCH kindly being looked after by @_princess_pebble while I’m in temp housing. .
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I treated myself to new duvet set and slippers (to dodge the leaky floor) in primania. :
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Life was pretty good today and I’m thankful for that. It was a good day and for that reason I will celebrate 🧡
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#borderline #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bpdrecovery #recovery #mentalhealthawareness #fightthestigma #stampoutstigma #letstalkmentalhealth #gettingthroughthis #makingmestronger #cantgiveup #gotthis #supporteachother #bpdfam #bpdcrew #warrior #mentalhealthwarrior

Between the drug tests, the HTT appointments and pure mania that my life seems to have become I was able to see my BEAUTIFUL POOCH kindly being looked after by @_princess_pebble while I’m in temp housing. . . I treated myself to new duvet set and slippers (to dodge the leaky floor) in primania. : : Life was pretty good today and I’m thankful for that. It was a good day and for that reason I will celebrate 🧡 : : : : : #borderline #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bpdrecovery #recovery #mentalhealthawareness #fightthestigma #stampoutstigma #letstalkmentalhealth #gettingthroughthis #makingmestronger #cantgiveup #gotthis #supporteachother #bpdfam #bpdcrew #warrior #mentalhealthwarrior

So. Today I started my new pain killers as last week I got diagnosed with Rheumatiod arthritis. I've taken the first one and already there's been a massive difference. I'm actually not in any pain at all at the moment. I only have to take it once a day with a stomach protector. The rhumatologist has agreed my hypermobility syndrome mixed with the RA has been missed a lot and that I should of been on these earlier. I'm so greatful iv finally got an answer as to why my pain has been so bad for years.
#rheumatoidarthritis #RA #chronicillness #chronicpain #hypermobility #hypermobilitysyndrome #jointhypermobility #jointhypermobilitysyndrome #pain #eupd #bpd #ptsd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunavailable #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #posttraumaticstressdisorder

So. Today I started my new pain killers as last week I got diagnosed with Rheumatiod arthritis. I've taken the first one and already there's been a massive difference. I'm actually not in any pain at all at the moment. I only have to take it once a day with a stomach protector. The rhumatologist has agreed my hypermobility syndrome mixed with the RA has been missed a lot and that I should of been on these earlier. I'm so greatful iv finally got an answer as to why my pain has been so bad for years. #rheumatoidarthritis #RA #chronicillness #chronicpain #hypermobility #hypermobilitysyndrome #jointhypermobility #jointhypermobilitysyndrome #pain #eupd #bpd #ptsd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunavailable #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #posttraumaticstressdisorder

I’ve met some truly incredible and amazing people since setting up this page. This is a shout-out to them. Those who keep me strong even when I’ve felt like giving up. Thank you 😊 #bpd #bpddiagnosis #safespace #mentalhealth #mentalillness #stigma #myjourney #bpdawareness #borderlinepersonality #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #raisingawareness #helpmehelpyou #support #supportyourfriends #feelings #itsokaynottobeokay #staystrong #thankyou

I’ve met some truly incredible and amazing people since setting up this page. This is a shout-out to them. Those who keep me strong even when I’ve felt like giving up. Thank you 😊 #bpd #bpddiagnosis #safespace #mentalhealth #mentalillness #stigma #myjourney #bpdawareness #borderlinepersonality #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #raisingawareness #helpmehelpyou #support #supportyourfriends #feelings #itsokaynottobeokay #staystrong #thankyou

My mood is bad 😫
My hand hurts a lot. I need it to hurt but I still feel shit about it. I woke up this morning though to find it's less bright and more yellowish than yesterday so immediately my head went to well you need to do it more then...punching the wall that is...I dont have the energy to fight this.
I want to escape. I just want to sleep. I dont want to be awake like this. I'm so fed up. So alone and isolated and it kills me. I cant deal with my head when it's like this. My moods are all over the place. I cant make sense of anything. It's such a jumble of todays stresses and struggles as well as unrelated trauma memories. I cant even let it out and cry even though I so badly need to. The emotions and pain is very much there but it's like my body has just given up and has no tears left anymore for all this shit.
I'm still fighting. But I dont really know what I'm fighting right now. Am I fighting for my future? Or am I fighting to not let go of my past in order to move into the future?
I feel so weak. So drained both mentally and physically. I can see what I'm doing to myself and even though it hurts I cant stop it 😪
P.S I am safe (the walls however not so much) I'm just fed up and ranting.

My mood is bad 😫 My hand hurts a lot. I need it to hurt but I still feel shit about it. I woke up this morning though to find it's less bright and more yellowish than yesterday so immediately my head went to well you need to do it more then...punching the wall that is...I dont have the energy to fight this. I want to escape. I just want to sleep. I dont want to be awake like this. I'm so fed up. So alone and isolated and it kills me. I cant deal with my head when it's like this. My moods are all over the place. I cant make sense of anything. It's such a jumble of todays stresses and struggles as well as unrelated trauma memories. I cant even let it out and cry even though I so badly need to. The emotions and pain is very much there but it's like my body has just given up and has no tears left anymore for all this shit. I'm still fighting. But I dont really know what I'm fighting right now. Am I fighting for my future? Or am I fighting to not let go of my past in order to move into the future? I feel so weak. So drained both mentally and physically. I can see what I'm doing to myself and even though it hurts I cant stop it 😪 P.S I am safe (the walls however not so much) I'm just fed up and ranting.

I don't even know why I keep trying to be in love with someone that constantly has me filled with doubt and self loathing. Sometimes I feel like life is just this big joke and I'm the punchline every one is laughing at- people at work keep telling me they will take care of him and he won't put his hands on me again and then my own sister didn't even notice my face was fucked up until five days later... lol. I don't understand why everyone has to lie constantly when all I can offer is the cold, sometimes cruel, unadulterated truth. Oh fucking well. I got another fucking subpoena this morning, (yes on a SUNDAY) so I’m thinking the police are definitely watching me . & I'm supposed to have at least ten hours of my community service done by the 23rd and so far I have 0, so I'm probably going back to jail on a technical violation that day. 🤷🏻‍♀️ #borderline #actuallyborderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #eupd #emotinallyunstable #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bipolar #bipolardisorder #gad #generalizedanxietydisorder #anxiety #substanceabuse #substanceuse #substanceusedisorder #alcoholusedisorder #aud #alcoholism #mentalillness #domesticviolence #domesticabuse

I don't even know why I keep trying to be in love with someone that constantly has me filled with doubt and self loathing. Sometimes I feel like life is just this big joke and I'm the punchline every one is laughing at- people at work keep telling me they will take care of him and he won't put his hands on me again and then my own sister didn't even notice my face was fucked up until five days later... lol. I don't understand why everyone has to lie constantly when all I can offer is the cold, sometimes cruel, unadulterated truth. Oh fucking well. I got another fucking subpoena this morning, (yes on a SUNDAY) so I’m thinking the police are definitely watching me . & I'm supposed to have at least ten hours of my community service done by the 23rd and so far I have 0, so I'm probably going back to jail on a technical violation that day. 🤷🏻‍♀️ #borderline #actuallyborderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #eupd #emotinallyunstable #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bipolar #bipolardisorder #gad #generalizedanxietydisorder #anxiety #substanceabuse #substanceuse #substanceusedisorder #alcoholusedisorder #aud #alcoholism #mentalillness #domesticviolence #domesticabuse

I’m getting up and showing up! Maybe in a shit situation but it’s only temporary and could be so much worse 🙏
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This big ole fight. I got it. My left hook is SICK
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: #borderline #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bpdrecovery #recovery #mentalhealthawareness #fightthestigma #stampoutstigma #letstalkmentalhealth #gettingthroughthis #makingmestronger #cantgiveup #gotthis #supporteachother #bpdfam #bpdcrew #warrior #mentalhealthwarrior

I’m getting up and showing up! Maybe in a shit situation but it’s only temporary and could be so much worse 🙏 : : This big ole fight. I got it. My left hook is SICK : : : : : : : : #borderline #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bpdrecovery #recovery #mentalhealthawareness #fightthestigma #stampoutstigma #letstalkmentalhealth #gettingthroughthis #makingmestronger #cantgiveup #gotthis #supporteachother #bpdfam #bpdcrew #warrior #mentalhealthwarrior

So this isnt a very attractive photo of me imma hate this photo alot but im trying to be real todays not great i feel the walls closing in and the voices are winning its alright this is one day i dont have the means here to end my life i have thoughts sure but im trying to remember just cause the voices in my head want me dead doesnt mean i should be idk whats goimg to happen i feel not good today #thoughts #dissociating #badperson #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonality #borderlinepersonalityproblems #bpd #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #mentalhealth #struggling #surviving #real

So this isnt a very attractive photo of me imma hate this photo alot but im trying to be real todays not great i feel the walls closing in and the voices are winning its alright this is one day i dont have the means here to end my life i have thoughts sure but im trying to remember just cause the voices in my head want me dead doesnt mean i should be idk whats goimg to happen i feel not good today #thoughts #dissociating #badperson #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonality #borderlinepersonalityproblems #bpd #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #mentalhealth #struggling #surviving #real

Just out here trying to live a more ‘normal’/average life in recent times ❤️
#egoboost #normal #bipolar #bipolardisoder #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #friends #love #hope

Just out here trying to live a more ‘normal’/average life in recent times ❤️ #egoboost #normal #bipolar #bipolardisoder #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #friends #love #hope

As many of you know I struggle with my mental health and it can really control my life when I get flare ups the grip tightens and I sink lower and lower. I'm on this journey not only for weightloss but also to be happy. I am told so much about how caring and kind I am, how I'm there to have a moan too, I will make you smile and laugh I just need to learn how to show myself the same compassion, the same love, respect and kindness I show to others. Im certain that with the right support and growing confidence that I will learn to be good to me for a change. #mentalhealth #bpd #bipolar #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #mentalillness #itsoknottobeok #spoonie #timeforchange #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #slimmingworld #slimmingworldinspiration #slimmingworldblogger #slimmingworldsharing #slimmingworldmotivation

As many of you know I struggle with my mental health and it can really control my life when I get flare ups the grip tightens and I sink lower and lower. I'm on this journey not only for weightloss but also to be happy. I am told so much about how caring and kind I am, how I'm there to have a moan too, I will make you smile and laugh I just need to learn how to show myself the same compassion, the same love, respect and kindness I show to others. Im certain that with the right support and growing confidence that I will learn to be good to me for a change. #mentalhealth #bpd #bipolar #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #mentalillness #itsoknottobeok #spoonie #timeforchange #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #slimmingworld #slimmingworldinspiration #slimmingworldblogger #slimmingworldsharing #slimmingworldmotivation

I managed to get out of bed, get dressed in something that's not leggings, put make up on, earrings in and left the house 😂 Yay me!!
I am however feeling gutted that the weather is changing and I've had to pull the colder duvet sets out. The girls have a bunk bed and Fletcher has a mid sleeper and as a 5foot2(ish) short arse, it helps remind me to never, EVER get pregnant ever again because I hate making their beds!! 😂😂 Happy Sunday!! .
#largefamily #bigfamily #bigfamilyproblems #largefamilyproblems #short #shortgirlproblems #shortgirlsdoitbetter #disabilityawareness #mentalhealth #chronicillness #pain #migraine #spoonie #ptsd #autoimmunedisease #invisibleillness #invisibledisability #intercranialhypertension #idiopathicintercranialhypertension #brainsurgery #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionalunstablepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bpd #eupd #personalitydisorder #depression #psychosis

I managed to get out of bed, get dressed in something that's not leggings, put make up on, earrings in and left the house 😂 Yay me!! I am however feeling gutted that the weather is changing and I've had to pull the colder duvet sets out. The girls have a bunk bed and Fletcher has a mid sleeper and as a 5foot2(ish) short arse, it helps remind me to never, EVER get pregnant ever again because I hate making their beds!! 😂😂 Happy Sunday!! . #largefamily #bigfamily #bigfamilyproblems #largefamilyproblems #short #shortgirlproblems #shortgirlsdoitbetter #disabilityawareness #mentalhealth #chronicillness #pain #migraine #spoonie #ptsd #autoimmunedisease #invisibleillness #invisibledisability #intercranialhypertension #idiopathicintercranialhypertension #brainsurgery #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionalunstablepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bpd #eupd #personalitydisorder #depression #psychosis

bake sale was a sell out! raised £137 (so far) for @broken_but_good support group! we sold over 100 cupcakes and a huge Madeira cake in just under 3hrs! all home made by me 😁 #mensmentalhealth needs to be addressed and supported, the money raised will help us so much! #mentalhealth #mentalillness #recovery #bpd #eupd #ptsd #mooddisorder #anxiety #depression #boarderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #staystrong #nevergiveup #neverlosehope #youarenotalone #yougotthis #itsoknottobeok

bake sale was a sell out! raised £137 (so far) for @broken_but_good support group! we sold over 100 cupcakes and a huge Madeira cake in just under 3hrs! all home made by me 😁 #mensmentalhealth needs to be addressed and supported, the money raised will help us so much! #mentalhealth #mentalillness #recovery #bpd #eupd #ptsd #mooddisorder #anxiety #depression #boarderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #staystrong #nevergiveup #neverlosehope #youarenotalone #yougotthis #itsoknottobeok

My therapist seems to think I’m doing just fine and that I don’t need to go through the uk’s version of DBT (STEPPS program) and that really kinda hurts because I didn’t go to my doctor to just get referred to only be diagnosed and get new meds, I wanted actual therapy to help with my thoughts and stuff. I’m single right now so I’m doing okay-ish. I mean as of recently uni life has been kicking my ass, but I’m doing okayish, but you see once I get a new relationship (or if I get a new one) I will go crazy again, I want to go through the STEPPS program to better understand bpd and how I can help myself and change my thoughts and reactions to things. He did say if I wanted the therapy then he would refer me but he doesn’t think it’s necessary. I’m so bad at asking for things but I’m going to have to suck it up and ask. The next program doesn’t start until February so I have some time. •
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#bpd #bpdawareness #bpdrecovery #bpdrelationships #therapy #dbt #stepps #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #lesbian #lgbt

My therapist seems to think I’m doing just fine and that I don’t need to go through the uk’s version of DBT (STEPPS program) and that really kinda hurts because I didn’t go to my doctor to just get referred to only be diagnosed and get new meds, I wanted actual therapy to help with my thoughts and stuff. I’m single right now so I’m doing okay-ish. I mean as of recently uni life has been kicking my ass, but I’m doing okayish, but you see once I get a new relationship (or if I get a new one) I will go crazy again, I want to go through the STEPPS program to better understand bpd and how I can help myself and change my thoughts and reactions to things. He did say if I wanted the therapy then he would refer me but he doesn’t think it’s necessary. I’m so bad at asking for things but I’m going to have to suck it up and ask. The next program doesn’t start until February so I have some time. • • • • • • • • • • #bpd #bpdawareness #bpdrecovery #bpdrelationships #therapy #dbt #stepps #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #lesbian #lgbt

Just got the most amazing “thank you“ card from a friend at @rethinkmentalillness for my presentation last Wednesday. It was an absolute pleasure! thank you so much for the card and for of course having me! 😁❤️
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Really hit me in the feels ♥
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#mentalhealthrunner #whateverittakes #stilliruncommunity #stillirun #rethink #mentalhealthblog #mentalillness #ptsdawareness #anxietydisorder #anxietyawareness #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #publicspeaking #stigmafighter #mentalhealthstigma

Just got the most amazing “thank you“ card from a friend at @rethinkmentalillness for my presentation last Wednesday. It was an absolute pleasure! thank you so much for the card and for of course having me! 😁❤️ . Really hit me in the feels ♥ . . . #mentalhealthrunner #whateverittakes #stilliruncommunity #stillirun #rethink #mentalhealthblog #mentalillness #ptsdawareness #anxietydisorder #anxietyawareness #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #publicspeaking #stigmafighter #mentalhealthstigma

Woke up in the worst mood I've been in in a long time. So exhausted, miserable and cbfa. Went to view my supported accomodation again which is still in the process of being finalised with funding and I'm just losing hope. I dont trust anyone at the minute and I'm tired of waking up every morning to battle the same demons that never go away. I'm going to bed and I'm not resurfacing until someone knocks on my door to tell me my accommodation is ready.
#eupd #bpd #personalitydisorder #recovery #mh #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #mentalillness #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpdproblems #eupdproblems #actuallyborderline #mentalhealthblog #mentalhealthblogger #borderline #actuallybpd #bpdlife #eupdlife #depression #anxiety #selfharm #personalitydisorders #bpdmemes #mentalhealthmemes #sleep

Woke up in the worst mood I've been in in a long time. So exhausted, miserable and cbfa. Went to view my supported accomodation again which is still in the process of being finalised with funding and I'm just losing hope. I dont trust anyone at the minute and I'm tired of waking up every morning to battle the same demons that never go away. I'm going to bed and I'm not resurfacing until someone knocks on my door to tell me my accommodation is ready. #eupd #bpd #personalitydisorder #recovery #mh #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #mentalillness #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpdproblems #eupdproblems #actuallyborderline #mentalhealthblog #mentalhealthblogger #borderline #actuallybpd #bpdlife #eupdlife #depression #anxiety #selfharm #personalitydisorders #bpdmemes #mentalhealthmemes #sleep

With the recent arrival of my baby girl I’m finding it hard keeping active on two forms of social media. As most of my activity occurs in my closed Facebook group and members have the ability to post unseen and privately this is where I’ll be focusing my time for the foreseeable. .
Your welcome to follow my personal Instagram too @nixjparker but this will be used solely for my personal stuff and not as a mental health support account. If you want mental health support please use the links in my bio to join us over on Facebook. .
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#strongerthanthemind #mentalhealth #mentalillness #panicattack #itsokaynottobeokay #bpdawarness #mentalillnessawareness #mentalhealthawarness #dissociation #intrusivethoughts #mentalhealthrecovery #anxietyproblems #itsoknottobeok #mentalwellbeing #bpdrecovery #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #anxiety #depression #ptsd #complexptsd #psychosis #postnataldepression #postpartumdepression #bipolar #socialanxiety #ptsd #personalitydisorder #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthhelp

With the recent arrival of my baby girl I’m finding it hard keeping active on two forms of social media. As most of my activity occurs in my closed Facebook group and members have the ability to post unseen and privately this is where I’ll be focusing my time for the foreseeable. . Your welcome to follow my personal Instagram too @nixjparker but this will be used solely for my personal stuff and not as a mental health support account. If you want mental health support please use the links in my bio to join us over on Facebook. . . #strongerthanthemind #mentalhealth #mentalillness #panicattack #itsokaynottobeokay #bpdawarness #mentalillnessawareness #mentalhealthawarness #dissociation #intrusivethoughts #mentalhealthrecovery #anxietyproblems #itsoknottobeok #mentalwellbeing #bpdrecovery #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #anxiety #depression #ptsd #complexptsd #psychosis #postnataldepression #postpartumdepression #bipolar #socialanxiety #ptsd #personalitydisorder #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthhelp

Yup. It’s a process.

Yup. It’s a process.

Yup.

Yup.

This is me at the moment everything is falling apart and so am I #imaborderline #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #borderlinemummy #borderlinepersonalitydisorder

This is me at the moment everything is falling apart and so am I #imaborderline #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #borderlinemummy #borderlinepersonalitydisorder

Memes are so great and accurate lol

Memes are so great and accurate lol

Wow I’m 22 rn and I’m struggling so bad with all these things. I hope by 24 I overcome this 😢

Wow I’m 22 rn and I’m struggling so bad with all these things. I hope by 24 I overcome this 😢

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A reminder because we all get carried away with what we see on social media. Yeah you might see someone graduating but they might not have told you that they had to repeat a year - you just see their degree. You see someone getting married, smiling happy but they might not of told you that theyve had to have a loan to afford that. You see someone with a top of the range car and you think gosh i wish i had that - they might not even own that car it may be a lease car or a car on pcp.
You might see someone with new clothes makes like burberry, ralph lauren but they might wear it for a night out and then take it back you dont know that. You see someone with a nice big house - their parents might of died so thats why they can afford it.
What you see is not always what you get. I myself need to be mindful of this also.
#socialmedia #fake #perception #whatyousee #bpd #autism #asd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #socialmediaisnotreallife

A reminder because we all get carried away with what we see on social media. Yeah you might see someone graduating but they might not have told you that they had to repeat a year - you just see their degree. You see someone getting married, smiling happy but they might not of told you that theyve had to have a loan to afford that. You see someone with a top of the range car and you think gosh i wish i had that - they might not even own that car it may be a lease car or a car on pcp. You might see someone with new clothes makes like burberry, ralph lauren but they might wear it for a night out and then take it back you dont know that. You see someone with a nice big house - their parents might of died so thats why they can afford it. What you see is not always what you get. I myself need to be mindful of this also. #socialmedia #fake #perception #whatyousee #bpd #autism #asd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #socialmediaisnotreallife

New vid in bio! Today I discuss getting older, toy boys and jealousy xxx #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #bpdtribe #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #emotiondysregulationdisorder #emotionintensitydisorder
Current thoughts 😥

Current thoughts 😥

I feel so tired and ill every single day and people who don’t have mental illnesses just don’t understand. •
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#bpd #bpdawareness #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #eupdawareness #eupdrecovery #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #lgbtq #lesbian #gaygirl #girlswholikegirls

I feel so tired and ill every single day and people who don’t have mental illnesses just don’t understand. • • • • • • • • • • • • #bpd #bpdawareness #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #eupdawareness #eupdrecovery #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #lgbtq #lesbian #gaygirl #girlswholikegirls

I can feel myself slipping away, my body morphing into someone else. A dark shape shifter, cruel and bitter. Taking down my every being, leaving me an overweight shell. This crippling feeling is born and now I have to find the power to get rid of it.
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We all have that power, we just need to find it.
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I can feel myself slipping away, my body morphing into someone else. A dark shape shifter, cruel and bitter. Taking down my every being, leaving me an overweight shell. This crippling feeling is born and now I have to find the power to get rid of it. : : We all have that power, we just need to find it. : : : : : : #borderline #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #bpdrecovery #recovery #mentalhealthawareness #fightthestigma #stampoutstigma #letstalkmentalhealth #gettingthroughthis #makingmestronger #cantgiveup #gotthis #supporteachother #bpdfam #bpdcrew #warrior #mentalhealthwarrior

anyone in Essex tomorrow come down to our fun day, we have the winner of the voice kids performing, cake stalls, and much much more! all profits from my cakes will be donated to @broken_but_good mental health support group! #mentalhealth #mentalillness #recovery #bpd #eupd #ptsd #mooddisorder #anxiety #depression #boarderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #staystrong #nevergiveup #neverlosehope #youarenotalone #yougotthis #itsoknottobeok #essex #funday #thevoicekids #cakes #wrestling #bretonsmanor

anyone in Essex tomorrow come down to our fun day, we have the winner of the voice kids performing, cake stalls, and much much more! all profits from my cakes will be donated to @broken_but_good mental health support group! #mentalhealth #mentalillness #recovery #bpd #eupd #ptsd #mooddisorder #anxiety #depression #boarderlinepersonalitydisorder #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #staystrong #nevergiveup #neverlosehope #youarenotalone #yougotthis #itsoknottobeok #essex #funday #thevoicekids #cakes #wrestling #bretonsmanor

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Yoo so accurate

Yoo so accurate

What a 48 hours I've had 😕
Firstly following on from my previous post, my counsellor knew as soon as I'd got there exactly what had happened. She questioned me, to which I was honest and said I'd overreacted. She immediately said I thought so and explained how she felt I took it (which was spot on) and reassured me all the things I needed to hear.
The appt went well, but it was so so hard because my 'others' were talked about a lot. I'm too raw to go into detail.
Not long after I'd left, I'd ended up going up to the minor injuries unit for my hand. Punching the wall so much has made it go weird (I told the hosp I'd just knocked it), my knuckles have sunken in, hands discoloured, almost constant pins and needles or numbness particularly down one finger, moving my hand makes the joint which is worst feel like it's made of rubber. Pain I dont care about, but everything else was odd.
Anyway, it got x-rayed, no break. She said by looking at it, feeling it move and my symptoms that it's tissue and nerve damage. I want to say that was enough to stop me but it wasn't.
The following morning (yesterday) I woke up SO depressed, confused, impulsive and lost. My head was so loud, so much doubt that I'm faking all this, so much confusion about who I am. I reached out to my counsellor and emailed her, to my surprise she asked if I could go see her 😳
This scared me not just cos I was scared of what she'd say but because I'd have to get there and back on my own. Despite this though I knew I needed to go, I needed her help and support even though I'd only just seen her the day before.
She was lovely with me, helped me make a little more sense of where I'm at. That how I'm reacting on my journey is normal and ok. One thing in particular that stuck with me is that she wants to help change me from a victim (I really hate that word) into a survivor. Leaving the 'old me' behind, and finding out what the 'new me' wants to be and do with life.
I still feel incredibly fragile today, but my minds been somewhat quieter since. I'm exhausted, both mentally and physically 😪
Resting is all I can manage and for once I'm not fighting it and am ok with it.

What a 48 hours I've had 😕 Firstly following on from my previous post, my counsellor knew as soon as I'd got there exactly what had happened. She questioned me, to which I was honest and said I'd overreacted. She immediately said I thought so and explained how she felt I took it (which was spot on) and reassured me all the things I needed to hear. The appt went well, but it was so so hard because my 'others' were talked about a lot. I'm too raw to go into detail. Not long after I'd left, I'd ended up going up to the minor injuries unit for my hand. Punching the wall so much has made it go weird (I told the hosp I'd just knocked it), my knuckles have sunken in, hands discoloured, almost constant pins and needles or numbness particularly down one finger, moving my hand makes the joint which is worst feel like it's made of rubber. Pain I dont care about, but everything else was odd. Anyway, it got x-rayed, no break. She said by looking at it, feeling it move and my symptoms that it's tissue and nerve damage. I want to say that was enough to stop me but it wasn't. The following morning (yesterday) I woke up SO depressed, confused, impulsive and lost. My head was so loud, so much doubt that I'm faking all this, so much confusion about who I am. I reached out to my counsellor and emailed her, to my surprise she asked if I could go see her 😳 This scared me not just cos I was scared of what she'd say but because I'd have to get there and back on my own. Despite this though I knew I needed to go, I needed her help and support even though I'd only just seen her the day before. She was lovely with me, helped me make a little more sense of where I'm at. That how I'm reacting on my journey is normal and ok. One thing in particular that stuck with me is that she wants to help change me from a victim (I really hate that word) into a survivor. Leaving the 'old me' behind, and finding out what the 'new me' wants to be and do with life. I still feel incredibly fragile today, but my minds been somewhat quieter since. I'm exhausted, both mentally and physically 😪 Resting is all I can manage and for once I'm not fighting it and am ok with it.

So slept half the day today just dont want to be here we got my sisters party and mum gets chaotic and yells and gets angry when shes stressed so ive locked myself in my room where its safe, last dream i had tho i saw them my old friends they yelled and bullied me like they do saying i wasnt good enough till i pulled a knife on them and the police grabbed me now i dont wanna sleep but dont wanna be here either #sleep #nightmares #escapingreality #notgoodenough #mistakes #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonality #bpd #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #mentalhealth #dissociation

So slept half the day today just dont want to be here we got my sisters party and mum gets chaotic and yells and gets angry when shes stressed so ive locked myself in my room where its safe, last dream i had tho i saw them my old friends they yelled and bullied me like they do saying i wasnt good enough till i pulled a knife on them and the police grabbed me now i dont wanna sleep but dont wanna be here either #sleep #nightmares #escapingreality #notgoodenough #mistakes #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonality #bpd #eupd #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #mentalhealth #dissociation

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I feel weird posting these and I really wanted a funny not serious but kinda serious caption such as FEEL THE FEELS THEN DROWN THEM IN VODKA. But Instead of Turning to unhealthy coping skills like we may be used to, instead just ride it out, write it out, cry it out, talk it out. Distract yourself with funny videos, create a happy upbeat playlist and listen to it on repeat. Tonight I chose to try a new recipe and bake cupcakes 😋 #copingskills #healthycopingskills #feelings #emotions #feelthefeels #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #mentalillness #recoveryispossible #recovery #sobriety #sober #callmewhenyouresober #sadness #depression #depressed #emotionallyunstable #mentalhealthawareness #mentalwellness #writingishowicope #writer #personalitydisorder #bpd #bpdrecovery #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder

I feel weird posting these and I really wanted a funny not serious but kinda serious caption such as FEEL THE FEELS THEN DROWN THEM IN VODKA. But Instead of Turning to unhealthy coping skills like we may be used to, instead just ride it out, write it out, cry it out, talk it out. Distract yourself with funny videos, create a happy upbeat playlist and listen to it on repeat. Tonight I chose to try a new recipe and bake cupcakes 😋 #copingskills #healthycopingskills #feelings #emotions #feelthefeels #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #mentalillness #recoveryispossible #recovery #sobriety #sober #callmewhenyouresober #sadness #depression #depressed #emotionallyunstable #mentalhealthawareness #mentalwellness #writingishowicope #writer #personalitydisorder #bpd #bpdrecovery #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder